I had less than four hours of sleep and now I’m making this post. What for, I do not know. Do I know anything really? I know I hate you. Took me awhile to say it, to put it into perspective, to phrase it. Sad but true this pain is too great.

Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I’d give my eveything

My flower, withered between
The pages 2 and 3
The once and forever bloom
gone with my sins

Walk the dark path
Sleep with angels
Call the past for help
Touch me with your love
And reveal to me my true name

Nightwish always soothes me in times like this with their lyrics because only in them are my true feelings fully revealed. What am I gonna do now? I really really want to burn the bridge down with you on it. Ken told me not to.

I know I hate you and I’m gonna leave it as it is. But last night, I discovered another dark and cynical side of me. For a moment I did feel the soothing rain and was able to dream again. What is wrong with me? I don’t think there is, I’ve just seen more to this world than you have.

I know now it really matters where my future lies too. Because I’ve given up on ever returning to a certain island was a major factor in decision making, or should I say erasing myself from any further considerations. You can find me along the Thames today.