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I had less than four hours of sleep and now I’m making this post. What for, I do not know. Do I know anything really? I know I hate you. Took me awhile to say it, to put it into perspective, to phrase it. Sad but true this pain is too great.

Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I’d give my eveything

My flower, withered between
The pages 2 and 3
The once and forever bloom
gone with my sins

Walk the dark path
Sleep with angels
Call the past for help
Touch me with your love
And reveal to me my true name

Nightwish always soothes me in times like this with their lyrics because only in them are my true feelings fully revealed. What am I gonna do now? I really really want to burn the bridge down with you on it. Ken told me not to.

I know I hate you and I’m gonna leave it as it is. But last night, I discovered another dark and cynical side of me. For a moment I did feel the soothing rain and was able to dream again. What is wrong with me? I don’t think there is, I’ve just seen more to this world than you have.

I know now it really matters where my future lies too. Because I’ve given up on ever returning to a certain island was a major factor in decision making, or should I say erasing myself from any further considerations. You can find me along the Thames today.

Hello readers, how has the New Year been treating you? For me its been like salad in a bowl with the dressing and croutons being tossed. I’m very happy I sought and found redemption and I thank you for that. Elliott now you can really slap me when I go back but at least I did it. Happiness aside, there has been rotten salad and soggy croutons mixed with me as the New Year was ushered with an unpleasant tossed.

Nothing I say right now will change anything so its pointless for me to say anything. I told you that remaining as friends is a good step forward and we shall take it together. But there is one <insert profanity> which I’ve decided to strike off from my life and it saddens me.

How was it possible for me back in TP to fight so much and yet still be friends? The answer is you can’t. I can see now the cracks are echoed till this day. I have wanted to go back to address ‘The State of My Friends’ for awhile already and Nana I told you this before. But then again ‘Friend’ is such a superficial word these days so much so I had to brand my closest as the Tripod to not get intertwine in levels of complications.

I was asked,  “Is it easy to axe a friend?”. Without thinking, I answered yes. Yes its damm simple. You just do it. Friendship is an investment and with every investment you must be willing to forgo everything. Rule number one of trading is that the moment you fall in love with your position, it will bite you in the rear so yes friendship really is an investment.

I made a decision on the last day of 2009 and I wonder will I ever need to seek redemption one day. Dammit Elliott, this redemption bollocks is killing me. I learned to modify the rules of the game and that redemption doesn’t apply to everyone – only to the people you choose. So yes I can safely say there is no parlay in this axing. What’s done is done.

I recall back then in secondary school when I was caught in the same situation. We fought and we both lost, we didn’t talk, you got someone to throw a desk at me giving me a concussion for a few hours not to mention the canning for fighting after. Yeah I was a real terror. All these are the demons of my past. But its not what had transpired which I’m wanting to bring across here, its the result. He went on with his life, I don’t care, he don’t care, we all don’t care about each other and so friendship just became a word – so yes its like a on/off switch.

Do I really wanna do this? Yes. Am I doing the right thing? Only time will tell. Stop being petty Sebby. Shut the fuck up. C’mon Sebby. Okay. Okay, it does seem petty but I ruled my life with fact and logic for too long so now its time to put a little emotion into the decision making. Yes, the axe has fallen.

Will you ever be the same to her again Sebby? No but how the story proceeds depends entirely up to her as it was from the prelude.

PS: I never dodged the desk but I did dodge the flying Pringles bottle. You guys know who you are.

The hands of Big Ben struck twelve as the thousands including myself gathered at Embankment to usher in the new decade. With the roar of exploding fireworks lighting up the night sky, all was azure, I was at peace. Just only a few moments ago, I sought and attained my redemption. Thank you.

It was great spending New Year’s Eve with you. I found the closure I had seeked and the book lies open for a new chapter to be written. Thank you.

So gone with 2009. I must reflect on the past year or perhaps the entire decade – 2000 to 2009. It has truly been a decade of learning. From entering Polytechnic to learning what politics and backstabbing is like during the NS days, I entered university in a foreign land which I today, by living and working here, feel very much at home with. I’ve learned a lot from my lecturers, peers and the lessons you learn along the way.

2009 also saw the start of my budding career. I’m really humbled by the teachings and patience the people in this great organisation has given me. To nurture me and to let me excel in what I love. To enter an industry that before a year ago I knew nothing of. Today, at least I can say I know how my industry functions and how important the role  I play in the organisation is.

I welcome 2010 with open arms. With redemption sought and career waiting to exploded. I can only see 2010 being a tremendous year for achievements in work, play and love.

2010 will also see me return to Singapore for Chinese New Year from the 5th o the 24th of February. I look forward for the long and much missed catch-up sessions with the Tripod, the girls and the guys from yesteryear – you all have always been in my hearts and dreams even though I’m so far away.

I wish you, the reader, a very welcoming New Year. May 2010 be even better than your 2009 and may all your dreams come true.

Now join me in singing Auld Lang Syne.

This should not ever be allowed! If you expect me to believe individual officers are taking matters into their own hands to commit such heinous crimes, I don’t believe you. Its practically anyone against the Iranian government is an enemy of the regime.

Obama, I think your sweet talk policy is good months ago, but against Iran, you get no luck. Please do something to prevent these travesties from happening again. The mad man running Iran has to be stopped, no matter the cost.

Well I’ve met many jackasses in my life but here’s on really disgusts me.

This is the face of the failed suicide bomber who tried to blow up an airplane on Christmas Day. Accordingly to an article by The Guardian,

Abdulmuttalab was a prominent figure in student Islamic affairs during his degree course in London and organised a War on Terror Week conference in 2007 while president of the Islamic Society of University College London, where he was studying mechanical engineering. Presentations included Jihad vs Terrorism, billed as “a lecture on the Islamic position with respect to jihad”

UCL graduate, president of a society, now I know what that is like as I too am a graduate and had taken active roles in student societies but totally none of such an extreme type. You’re Nigerian, why can’t you just be setup a ‘I Love Nigeria Society’ instead of doing this?

To make matters worst, you threw your life away and for what? Some blokes with AK-47 promising you 50 virgins if you blow that plane up? Even Ahmed the Dead Terrorist did not get his virgins, okay that was a joke. But still, you threw your life away. I detest people like you with extremist views. Islam is already facing a very troubled decade due to some idiots who flew two planes in the once standing World Trade Centers and in a position to improve the image of Islam, you joined in the extremism and decided to make a name for yourself. Shame. Nope, its just sad.

Therefore this is Sebby’s named jackass for the year. Oh and your father is a prominent banker? You’re a total disgrace to him.

Word out.

Kinda saw it coming but did pursue instead. Did not hold back this time instead said what needed to be said. Although the outcome was less than welcoming, I saw it coming. I don’t know how this changes things but tonight was one thing that had to be done.

Now that its done, I need to moved on to the second task on my agenda. Seeking redemption.

I told you I live a life of honesty so much that it bites me back but I still have to do this. The definition of a bastard or a jerk is clearly written on this site and that has to be addressed. The next task is to find closure which is over two years in the waiting. I need a sit down session, all serious no play. Only once this is done and I welcome 2010 or at least look forward to 2010.

To my brothers back home, I’ve kept much from you. Part of redemption is filling you guys in. I cannot live with this ball shackled to my ankle. So what if I excel at work, I’m only deceiving myself. That mask I wear, I’ve designed it too well. My own enemy is Sebby – myself.

Apple and tech punters enjoyed a day of rallying as AAPL gained $7.00 in half a days of trading. All due to the rumors that the event they had scheduled for the 16th of January 2010 is to announce the long awaited iSlate – Mac Tablet.

Whether this rally really signals that the iSlate is finally arriving, one can only wait and see but base on the amount of rumors circulating cyberspace for the past week, its very likely Apple will not disappoint. Such high levels of chatter can be seen historically when Apple was just about to release the new iPhone 3G / 3GS and the Macbooks.

Merry Xmas to everyone. I’m having a cold in the coldest Manchester winter ever. I hope you’re feeling much better.

On another note, I’ve parted ways with IT Works Interactive after seven great years of wonderful web hosting service. My switch to Justhosts in the completes my migration plan to relocate bazcreate.com from Singapore to the United Kingdom.

And he’s one happy Sebby.